


Wonderwall

by Seblainer



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Points of View, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-22
Updated: 2007-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 15:11:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12797058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seblainer/pseuds/Seblainer
Summary: What happens when Michael accepts that he and Brian will never be more than friends?





	Wonderwall

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

  
Author's notes: **It’s about someone that was left behind, by someone they loved and truly cared for, (their Wonderwall) and they're afraid to tell them how they really feel, because they're afraid of losing them even more.**  


* * *

_Because maybe_

_You're gonna be the one who saves me?_

_And after all_

_You're my Wonderwall_

_Wonderwall lyrics By: Oasis_

 

Michael’s POV

 

I watch him as he slides into a chair beside me, and steals my beer, quickly drinking the rest of it. Moments later, he looks up and smiles, and I forget that I was about to bitch at him for stealing my beer once again. 

 

I glance over at Emmett, who’s getting to his feet, and helping a drunken Ted to his feet as well. I hear Emmett sigh softly.

 

As I motion for the bartender to bring me another drink, Emmett turns back to me and Brian, and says, “Well my darlings, we’ve got to be going now.”

 

He smiles a bit, and then continues. “It’s way past my bedtime, and I realize that tonight I have no one to share my bed with, so we’re gonna call it a night.”

 

Emmett kisses my cheek, nods to Brian, and then proceeds to steer Ted out of Babylon. I turn back to Brian, my best friend, and the constant object of my affection.

 

We have been through hell and back, in all the years that we’ve been friends. I’m completely in love with Brian, and he knows it, too.

 

For some stupid reason though, I know that he and I will never get together. I remember asking Brian one time, why he had never slept with me, when he has slept with just about every other fag in Pittsburgh.

 

His answer had stunned me, to say the least. “Because you’re my best friend, Mikey, and if we slept together, it would fuck things up.”

 

I never brought it up again, but now that he has that blonde kid, that irritating twink, following him around like a puppy dog, just because they slept together, it makes me sick.

 

This stranger, this… kid, knows my best friend better that I ever will, and on one level, that hurts. On another level, though, I can understand, and I hate it.

 

I’d rather not sleep with Brian, if I was just going to be one of his tricks. I want to sleep with Brian, and have the best sex of my life.

 

I want to be screaming his name as I have my orgasm, I want him to smirk at me in that Brain-like way of his, and then I want us to live happily ever after.

 

Yeah fucking right. If I ever told Brian exactly what I was feeling, then he would probably turn me down. 

 

I mean, I’m cute and all, but Brian's drop-dead gorgeous, and I’m nowhere near the type of guy he goes for, which is discouraging.

 

With a soft sigh, I turn back to my drink, trying to force my thoughts away, or at least in another direction, for the time being.

 

“Mikey, what’s wrong?” I look up as Brian speaks to me. I look into his hazel eyes, and I feel myself getting lost in them, as I always do. 

 

I snap myself out of my little fantasy, and then shrug in response to Brian’s question. “Nothing’s wrong. I was just reminding myself of something.”

 

Well, it’s partly true. I have to remind myself all the time, that Brian is my best friend, and no matter how much I wish we were lovers, I don’t want to force the issue, and end up losing our friendship.

 

Brian raises a questioning eyebrow at me. “What’s the subject? The Cold War? Geometry? Chemistry?” When I don’t automatically answer, he sets his Jim Beam down.

 

“Mikey, tell me you’re not still harboring any little fantasies about the two of us ever getting together. I thought I explained it to you already. Christ!”

 

I watch Brian pick up his JB again, and take a quick sip, before setting it down once more. After swallowing the drink, he turns back to me.

 

“We’re best friends Mikey, and things are going to stay that way. It’s better for us. Hell, it’s better for everyone in the long run, actually.”

 

I want to ask why he’s so sure that things would never work out if we became a couple, but I bite back the words. I don’t want to upset him, not right now, especially.

 

After taking a few more sips of my drink, I say, “Look, I’m sorry. I know that I keep bringing it up, but I can’t help it. I can’t stand the fact that you have slept with almost every other guy in Pittsburgh, but you won’t sleep with me. I hate it!” 

 

When I look back up, I fall silent once more, fearing that I had pushed him too far. Brian’s staring at me and I have no idea what he’s thinking.

 

Part of me thinks that Brian wants to kill me. But instead, he just sighs and gets up, throwing a rumpled twenty down on the bar.

 

He turns back to me. “Get up, Mikey. We’re going to go for a walk. There are some things you need to know, and this is not the place to discuss them.”

 

I nod, and I get up too, throwing down my own money on the bar to pay for my drinks. Then I follow Brian outside, wondering where we’re going.

 

As we walk down Liberty Avenue, it starts to rain. For a moment I think of asking Brian if we should go to the loft, but then I decide against it.

 

After 20 minutes of silence, but what feels like a lifetime, Brian begins to speak. “My father was an asshole, a bastard. He used to come home from work drunk, every single day. He would beat me, and my mother. My mother probably deserved it. She was probably cheating on him. I wouldn’t put it past her. Anyway, he would shout comments, about my 'disgusting lifestyle,’ and how I was going to Hell because I’m gay.” I watched as Brian paused, took a few breaths, and then continued.

 

“He said that since I was a faggot, I was no longer his son. That he couldn’t be related to someone who was such an ‘abomination,’ and lived such a ‘perverted lifestyle.’ I wanted to kill him. After everything that he had done, to me and my mother, over the last several years, beating the shit out of us, and here he was, judging me, telling me that I was going to hell? I laughed in his face, and was barely able to keep myself from punching him. Well, anyway, the bastard’s dead now, so all is right with the world again.”

 

As I go to speak, Brian stops me, and when I look up, I see that we’re back at Babylon, standing by the jeep. I watch as he looks around for a minute, and then says, “Fuck this, I’m going home.”

 

I watch him climb into the jeep, and right before he closes the door, I shout, “Brian!” He closes the door anyway, and then sticks his head out of the window, and asks what I want.

 

I step closer to the jeep, until I’m standing right at his door. “I don’t know what to do. David wants me to move with him, but I can’t, and so we broke up. What do I do?” I’m surprised when Brian gets out of his jeep, and hugs me.

 

Brian ends the hug a few moments later, and pulls away. “We can talk about Dr. Dave later. You can stay the night with me, come on.” I nod, and slide into the passenger side of the jeep.

 

Before I know it, we’re at the loft. Brian and I are sitting on the couch smoking a joint. After I take another hit, and hand it back to Brian, I begin to speak.

 

“I finally realized something, Brian.” He watches me, and waits for me to continue. “I realize that you’re right. The two of us are better off just being friends.” 

 

I scoot closer to him on the couch, and he pulls me into a hug, which I gratefully accept. Moments later, I find myself telling him why our friendship means so much to me. 

 

“You’re my Wonderwall. I love you, Brian. I know you only love me as a friend, and while I don’t like it, it’ll have to do. I was always afraid to tell you about my feelings, because I was afraid of losing you. I’d rather have you as my friend, than not have you at all."

 

 

The End.


End file.
